It’s funny how you go through your old blog entries, read them one by one, and stumble upon an entry that couldn’t have explained your situation any better. I never thought I prepared myself for the future when I wrote this a year ago.
Good job, self.
“Although I am filled with a great sense of accomplishment, standing up on my feet was not an easy target. I still wished you were there to go through the tossing and turning, the praying for a miracle, the pretending-you-were-there’s. Being able to have my hand held by the man I love would have made the difference.
I used to believe that only you could make me feel better, that only you could blow the fears away, because I didn’t believe in my power to take control of me. I did it Jan, and I made it all by myself.”
