I’m (not) ready to go–“
I’ve meant to pack since Monday but haven’t gotten into doing it for real. I’ve spent my week catching up with a couple of friends and staying at home to bond with my family before heading off to my adventure up North. This morning, my barkada gave me a going away present that brought me to tears, and just now, I received an email from my dear friend, Chelsea, which I don’t think I have the courage to even open. (Hi Chels, if you’re reading this, I love you!)
In denial is what I’m in now and I don’t quite understand why. I cannot believe that it’s less than 24 hours before my departure and I haven’t packed a single thing. Half a year is a long while, but I still can’t feel it sinking in at this point. All I know is that I want to leave and even though it’s going to be a hard goodbye — family, friends, the familiar feeling of home — it’s a necessary farewell that I need (and want) to take.
I haven’t really put things in bluntly, but I’m leaving for San Francisco. Yearly vacations are no longer my pretentious reasons for calling SanFo home because this time around, I will actually get to live in the city my heart always calls out to. It’s going to be a great beginning and I know that every bit of sacrifice that I’ve done to get into this exchange program will all be worth it once I step inside the gates of USF.
Perhaps what I’m saying is that I’m scared but, at the same time, looking forward. Around this time last year, I was barely even entertaining the thought of applying. Who knew that three months later, I’d get in? It’s been a grueling prep-time since early March and it is only recently that I’ve come to terms with the reality I was getting myself into. There’s no turning back and, ready or not, I must embark on a journey of my own — a once in a lifetime opportunity for me to reconnect with who I am, make my parents proud, and go after my goals in life.
What scarred me these past few months I hope to heal there and my dreams from since I was a little girl I wish to fulfill in the city I love the most. Take me with you, San Francisco.
See you in 24 hours.