““We like to look for patterns and find connections in unrelated events. This way we can explain them to ourselves. Life seems neater, or at least less messy. We need to feel we are in control: it is integral to our self-esteem. We also know, though we deny it, that we are not in control. So we settle for the illusions of control. What if we stopped fooling ourselves?”

-an excerpt from Twisted 8 1/2 by Jessica Zafra

Last week, I had to review Twisted 8 1/2 for class and the quote above struck me hard. It reminded me that life takes its own toll and that I cannot attach meaning to anything at all.

I spent a good hour tonight listening to renditions by a distant person I somewhat know of. Even though I should feel a certain angst by default, I found myself appreciating the fact that things are slowly making sense to me now.

I’ve finally found the silver lining. Finally.